


A Fake Disorder? Really

by sentimental_boy



Series: Matt Murdock imagines [33]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt blames his bad schedule on Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake Disorder (a real thing) and you assume it's fake when he tells you he's Daredevil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fake Disorder? Really

You walk into the living room and see Matt hunched over his work, asleep. “Matt?” You put your hand on his shoulder and he jolts awake.

“Hmm? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Matt. You just said that you needed to finish reading up on this case this afternoon.”

“Oh.” He clears his throat. “Yeah. I do.”

“Is something bothering you?”

“No, why?”

“I’ve noticed this since we moved in together. You get restless at night and end up nodding off during the day.”

“Oh, it’s actually something that’s common among people who are completely blind. it’s called Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake disorder.”

“Oh. Is there treatment for it?”

“There’s a type of melatonin you can take for it, but that’s about it.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t think it was worth mentioning.” He shrugs. “There’s nothing you can do about it, so why worry you? Anyway, it might sound too much like I want you to feel bad for me.”

You sigh. “Matt, we’re in a committed relationship. You don’t have to worry about that stuff with me. Lord knows I unload my problems on you.”

He nods. “I know you’re here for me, I just don’t like admitting that my blindness affects how I do things. So many people already treat me like I can’t accomplish the same things. It’s like I’m still waiting to enter the world of adults.”

“Yeah, that would suck.” You pause. “Well I can think of some activities that only adults can do.” You smile, letting your hand travel south.

He laughs and grabs your wrist. “As tempting as that is, I really do have to finish reading over this case.”

“Okay, well you know where to find me when you’re done.” You kiss his temple and pull your laptop into your lap while he finishes.

-0-

You roll over and watch Matt as he sleeps. He looks so peaceful and it’s so rare to see him like this.

“What has you so happy this morning?” He asks, eyes still closed.

“Well I thought I was watching you sleep.”

He smiles. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“I’m just happy to wake up with you next to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m not trying to guilt trip you Matt.”

“I know. Still, I wish I could be by your side more often.”

“So let’s do that.” You put your hand on his chest. “Let’s stay here, in each other’s arms, and not get up. Ever.”

He grins. “And what happens when they kick us out because we’re not paying our rent?”

“Ugh. Why do you always have to point out stupid things like reality and logic?”

“One of us has to.” He stretches and goes to get up but you push him back onto the bed.

“It’s saturday. You’re mine today.”

He chuckles and takes your hand. “I love you. You know that?”

“I do. And I love you too.” You look down at your intertwined hands and smile. Then you notice something on his arm. A closer look reveals a healing gash. “Matt? What the hell happened?”

He doesn’t say anything.

You check his other arm and there’s a matching gash on it. “Matt. Did you do this to yourself?” You sit up and he follows suit.

“What? No.”

“Then what happened? Who did this to you?”

“I don’t know who it was.”

“Matt, please talk to me.”

He’s quiet for a long time. He takes a deep breath before he finally starts talking. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about this for a while. But y/n?”

“What?”

“I just- please hear me out. I don’t know what you’re going to think, but let me explain before you make any decisions. Please?”

The pit in your stomach grows bigger with each word he says. “Of course Matt. What’s going on?”

He sighs. “It’ll be easier to show you.” He gets up and walks over to the closet. The one under the stairs that’s been locked since you’ve known him. The one you’re always joking about the landlord hiding drugs or something crazy in. Because, according to Matt, he’s never gotten a key. Well, lo and behold, he walks over to the hose next to it and produces a key. He unlocks it and pulls out a chest, picking it up and setting it in front of you. He senses your hesitation and urges you to open it. “Go on. You won’t believe me if I just tell you.”

You open it and see his dad’s old boxing stuff laid out. “Uh, you decided to become a boxer like your dad?”

He lifts the top and underneath is a heap of red and black fabric. You pick it up to look at it, but what it is doesn't connect in your mind. You’re about to yell at Matt to spit it out because this isn’t explaining anything, when you see it. The mask. The one that Daredevil wears. But that’s impossible. “Matt this doesn’t make any sense. I need you to start talking right about now.”

He nods. “I know. I have a lot of explaining to do.” And that’s what he does. He answers all your questions, sometimes before you even ask them. He tells you about stick and how his senses work. He sits there, calm, and patient as you try to wrap your mind around what he’s telling you.

“You said you’ve been meaning to tell me this? Well when were you going to do it?”

“I tried. So many times. I did. I just couldn’t find the right time.”

“Let me think, how about the yesterday when I asked you about your sleeping schedule. You could’ve told me then instead of making up some fake disorder.”

“That’s actually a real disorder.”

“Really?”

He nods.

“Well you could’ve told me then instead of pretending to have a sleeping disorder.”

“It’s not technically a sleeping dis- you know what? That’s not the point. You’re right. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“That’s it? No explanation? Just ‘I knew I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I did it anyway?’”

“I was scared.” He says it in a soft voice, but his tone is fierce.

“Of what?”

“That you’d leave me when you found out.”

You stand there, stunned into silence for a moment, before you walk over to where he’s sitting on the sofa. You sit on the arm of the sofa and caress his face. “Matt, I love you, but I don’t know if I can deal with this. All of it, I mean, it’s illegal. What if someone found out about you? Wouldn’t they disbar you? You already got hurt. What if you got killed?”

“Everything you just mentioned is plausable.” He hesitates. “And I can’t imagine losing you, but I’m not going to stop. What I’m doing is for the greater good and I can’t see myself being with someone who doesn’t understand that.”

“So you’re telling me I’m just going to have to get used to it?”

He lets out a shaky breath and slides you into his lap. “I love you so much. If you’re going to stay with me though, yes. Because the only way I’m stopping is by force.”

You sigh. “Matt, I’m not going anywhere.” You run a hand through his hair and let it rest on the back of his head as you kiss him. “I’m just trying to wrap my mind around all this.” You pause, thinking everything over. “I mean, you’re so calm and gentle. I can’t even picture you going out and beating on someone.”

“I prefer it that way. I don’t want you to think of me as a violent person. I do have some anger issues, but I’ve tried to control myself around you.”

“Matt, I’m an adult. You don’t need to shelter me, I don’t want you to.”

“I know. It’s more for me. If-when, you see it, I know you’ll see me differently. Whether it's conscious or not. I’m not ready for that.”

You nod, still raking your nails along his scalp. “Okay. Like I said though. I love you. You don’t have to worry about it. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you for understanding. You have no idea how much it means to me. The other two people I told, it was rough.”

“Who else knows?”

“Foggy and Claire.”

“Claire?”

“She’s a nurse. She pulled me out of a dumpster one night when I was trying to take down Fisk. Full disclosure: something almost happened between us. Long story short, she told me she agrees with what I’m doing. She just couldn’t let herself fall in love with someone who was so close to becoming what he hates. She still helps patch me up sometimes.”

You nod, taking it all in. “Okay, I should tell you about Jake then. Remember, he’s that guy I told you about at work? We almost went out together, but then we realized we wouldn’t work together so it was just a fling.”

He nods. “I remember him, but what does he have to do with what we’re talking about?”

“Oh, I thought we were talking about exes who have recently seen us shirtless. It’s no big deal. He walked past my office and saw me changing my shirt. It’s fine though, it’s like our little inside joke now.”

“Uh huh. And why were you changing your shirt at work?”

“Spilled coffee on it.”

“And you keep a spare shirt at work?”

“Don’t you? You never know when you might need it.”

He nods. “You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”

You let out a breath. “How? I don’t have a tell. No one in my adult life has ever suspected it when I was lying.”

“Everyone has a tell, and few people can control their heart rate.”

“Okay, we’re going to come back to the fact that you can hear a person’s heart from this far away. Do you get what I’m saying though?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner. And I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore if I didn’t have to. Hospitals are expensive, and I can’t have my identity getting out.” He lets that hang there while he thinks everything over. “I want to work through this. How can I make you more comfortable with the situation? Do you want to meet her?”

You shake your head. “No Matt. I trust you. How often do you see her anymore? And not because I’m jealous, I’m worried.”

“Not as often since I got my new suit. I can take care of a lot of it myself.”

You nod. “Okay.”

“Is everything okay?”

“No Matt. I’m fucking terrified for you. I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about you going out there, but I understand that it’s something you need to do. I love you, and I’m not going to waste the time I have with you.”

“You don’t have to make it sound so final.” He says with a grin.

“Well who knows when it’s going to be?”

“Okay, can you not make comments like that about my ever approaching mortality?”

“Maybe it’ll make you be more careful out there.”

“Or maybe it’ll distract me long enough to matter.”

You snort. “Like you’re thinking about me, or my advice, in the middle of a fight.”

“I do. All the time. People like you, and Foggy, and Karen are why I do this. To keep you safe and living the best life possible.”

“Well stop it. I need you focused out there.” You take his arms and run your hand over the fresh scar that goes across them. “That way this doesn’t happen.”

He nods and pulls you in for a kiss. “Deal.”


End file.
